That's one of the first criteria in the DSM V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th edition, the Bible we use to diagnose psychiatric disorders) for the diagnosis of Hoarding Disorder. Now we have seen the poor folks on the cable TV reality show who have it really, really bad, but I swear, there's some diagnosis there for me. It's dumpster party time at the old ranch! Yet again. The last time I had a hoarder disorder purge was in September 2021 after
Hurricane Ida. I had to get rid of a-lot of stuff as it was wet and or damp and just shitted up. It probably would have been best if the water in the basement crested just below the first floor so everything would have had to go and we would have replaced the oil burner and the electrical panel. But it didn't. This go
around it's a 30 yard, "We'll never fill that", dumpster, from Vinch Recycling in Trenton. They pick it up on Friday so it's been a push. One of the reasons I'm doing this is because I see what happens to families when the old bats kick the bucket and leave a ton of shit for them to deal with. They don't want it, like anything, so we're trying to "downsize". And if I kick the bucket first, or soon, the last thing I would want is Theresa to have to deal with my mental disorder aftermath.
But it's not just the big stuff, you know things that don't work, things that are broken, "I can fix that", unfinished projects, like a ton of them, and rusted tools and more bolts and screws than I can count. I have bins upon bins of newspaper articles from when I was a photographer, clips when I was a fireman, big events that happened in the world, and books and magazines and stuff and whatever else.
What's interesting, or alarming, is why I have a need to hold onto stuff. Either I don't want to let go of the past, or feel I need to hold onto "proof" of the journey of my life. Like if I don't have something to show someone then they won't believe my story. Sad. Insecure. But I'm working through it. And you know what, nobody really cares about someone else's story anyway. But I did find, of course as I have binders from all of the paychecks I recieved while working as a photographer from the NY Post, The Star Ledger, the NY Times, Getty Images, and the Associated Press, again, why, an invoice from an assignment called "Delaware River Flooding".
In June 2006 we had a storm sit over the Delaware River that rose the river to 237,000 cfs, know that today it's about 15,000, and I was sent out on assignment to capture the damage in Mercer and Hunterdon Counties. I made the below image which went pretty viral then, and is till used today in articles about flooding or The Trenton Makes Bridge. Who would have thought, and I was living in Red Bank at the time, that 15 years later that bridge would be in my sights on a daily basis as I am now living 5 miles away.
I got $321.20 for that days work, which was really good money back in the day. So the binders of invoices and copied checks all went into the dumpster. I can't imagine my kids or wife sitting around the table looking through all of this shit when I'm gone, so the mention here on the blog will have to do. Then I got to the fire department bins. I thought I would just dump it all, but you know, I had to fish around....
There's my first CPR "Race for Life" and first aid "whats multimedia standard first aid?" cards from 1990. There's the below article, well I actually have a half a dozen papers from July 21, 1992, of a fire we had on Mt. Pleasant Avenue that ran through 8 brownstones. That tot in the window is yours truly
with three years on the job at age 24. That was 30 years ago. Best times of my life. That stuff I started to go through but I knew it would be to long of a process and too hard to get rid of. I also found my old Boy Scout stuff from Troop 116 in Millstone. I did Cub Scouts, Webelos, and Boy Scouts, and I think I got to Star or Life before puberty hit, not that that mattered, I should have stayed a scout. But what was
cool was to see my merit badges for fishing and rowing from 1979. Who would have thought that at some point of my adult life I would have been rowing and fishing and trying to make a living? It's funny this thing called life. You just never know how long you're going to be here and what path your life may take and where you'll wind up in your last days.
You know pictures of all this stuff works just as well so start shooting and sending them around.