09.23.26 This will be the last year for this, and hot, but not hard work...

 

     It's one of my favorite all time photos of Ryan. That's him above playing the guitar, while alone, on a dock on Lower Saranac Lake, New York, back in 2009. With today being the 9th anniversary of his death I'm going to end this practice of throwing it out there like I have done for years. Nothing on Facebook, nothing here, I'm done. 

     People react and grieve death in a variety of ways. As I learned in school there's no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no rules and no playbooks. It's very individual and in the end it's all alright. That is, until, the surviving people have maladaptive thoughts or behaviors due to the death or trauma, and that's where help from the outside comes in. 

    We celebrate anniversaries for many reasons, and the good ones are many. Birthdays, weddings, and big-life milestones are things we choose to remember and cherish. And then on the flip side there's those events, usually traumas, that have a date etched into our amygdala, the part of our brains that "store" trauma, that come and bring with it the associated pains out. It's kind of like picking open a scab when a wound is partially healed. 

     And those flip side things include deaths, injures, divorce, natural, and man made disasters. Just a week or so ago we remembered twenty five years post 9/11. On those anniversary dates we say things like, "Never Forget", although deep in our minds and hearts we would rather, one, that it never to have happened, and two, to have to relive the events of that day. In my case, finding Ryan deceased in my basement is something, one, a parent shouldn't have to experience, and two, something I am not going to "anniversary" moving forward. 

     I will always remember September 23rd, 2017, and the days and weeks after his death. I can't erase it and can't control or change how his parents, family, and friends choose to remember this date. For forever, parents have stated they couldn't imagine losing a child, and wouldn't be able survive if they did, but, I can say through experience, you can and you will, if you let yourself. So I am letting myself remember Ryan going forward and will pay extra attention to dates in his life like the day he was born, August 18th, 1996. I'll "Never Forget" September 23rd, but why put any effort into dragging the pain out of my brain, when there's so many other things to celebrate during his short 21 year long life lived. 

     He would have been 30 this year, and I, and the rest of his gang, have missed all of the big things that happen, some which become good anniversaries, between the ages of 21 - 30. You can't remember what didn't happen but I can say the what if's do play on my mind and heart. The best I can do is remember and be the best I can be for his siblings, and make sure I don't miss out on their big life events. Life is short and we only have one shot at it so being my best can be a way to remember Ryan moving forward. 

      And then back to The Fly Barn. I started out solo before I was joined by Theresa who showed up at just the right time. I was swore to not take any photos of her in her work outfit and to not jeopardize the help again I honored it. And to boot my iPhone died and I didn't have a charger so she was safe. But with that I wasn't able to capture all what we got done. 

     With Theres's help I was able to level out that big gate that is part of the fence. I was also able to move the mid-rail on a long run and secure the boards before I cut them down in height.

     The morning started out hot and humid before the rains came and deluged the area like it does everyday. With the alterations the outside of the fence looks good while the inside shows the places where the wood wasn't exposed to the elements, which leaves it different shades of wood. 

     I think I'll just lightly sand the brighter areas down a bit to feather them in hoping the sun will blend them all in after some time. Everything is level, for the most part, and I think in the end the change in elevations will look just fine. 

     Right before the rain we moved to repair and replace the walls that front the barn. I had a visit from the Town's zoning officer who thanked me for a job well done. I told him my plans moving forward and he said he would have to check if I need to pull a permit to re-side the house, or out building, or shed, whatever it is. By days end I had it one of the front sections reframed and the Hardie trim and sheet installed. But with no iPhone progress pics will have to wait. 

     After I got home and cleaned up we headed to Georgia to look for some pillows for the couch and to hit Lowe's. While my dumpster diving in Florida saved me some money I had to pick up some new Hardie trim at full price, and it ain't cheap. Today I'm going to drive around the section of Sun City that's still under construction to see if there's a dumpster I can dive in. I'm sure security here wouldn't approve. 

      And at 930 the hunger pangs started to rumble in my stomach. It was pancakes I wanted and, like New Jersey these days, there's no 24-hour diners around. But there are Waffle Houses, located at just about every exit on 95. So we hit one and I sat down and looked to order some flapjacks. "This is the Waffle House, we have waffles, no pancakes". So a half a waffle it was.

     Lukes been eating and drinking out of a dish and a to-go lid since we haven't been able to find his dog bowl. Well while walking around the store, At Home, we found the perfect one. It even had the marble top to go with it which matches the kitchen perfectly. It was $29, which killed me to have to pay, but we got 25% off since we joined the store's online something or other. Now Luke is kinda metal. Partly because he is a rescue, and partly because he lives with both of us, who are mental as well. He likes routine, and without change. Well we have blown his shit up a lot this year, with more to come. So when I put it down and put some water and a couple of Scooby snacks inside the above was his response. 

It's a dog bowl Luke, just relax. Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. 

09.22.26 Beast mode....

     Phase 1 of the fence project is complete. And if I didn't get injured or killed yesterday then I should be pretty good moving forward. I got to The Fly Barn around 7 am and it was more humid than I like, which is high heat and humidity, rather than low heat and humidity. Breathing is a tad easier when it's hot out. I got to work quickly and finished up installing the remaining posts, rails, and boards. 

     Then I was left on what to do with the gate. The gate is a bear. 10 feet long and six foot and awkwardly heavy. My idea was to let the concrete set around the posts overnight and then figure it out for another day, but I couldn't wait. I got my Dad on the phone and we devised a plan on how to tackle it. In the end it was agreed to install it and then cut it down. So I took a chance and went to work, probably too soon.

     It took awhile getting it vertical and then moving it horizontal and into place. With another set of hands or two it would have been much easier but in the end I got it into place and got the hinges installed. Luckily I had measured it correctly and had enough clearence on both posts for it to to open and close. Everything is level, but it's not square and level with each other, if you get what I mean.

     The gate is a little off, having settled with the weight, so it'll take some fine tuning and shimming to get it right. I installed the spring wheel on the moving end but it needs a fixed wheel to handle the weight. That'll be for later. This is not a daily in and out gate, but needed to deliver materials inside the yard, access the tiny house, or open it up when the parties start hopefully in the near future.

     If you look at the fence now you'll see there's s a few short boards which will be about the height of the finished fence after it's cut down. I think it'll all look better when that does happen as the fence is out of proportion to the house. At that height it's more like a fortress then a privacy fence. 

     The above view is from my neighbor's house and the line is about where the fence will be cut down to. But like the other sections the middle rail needs to be raised and secured before the top screws are removed. These boards will twist up if not secured within a timely fashion.

     So what I'm thinking is remove the boards near the posts to get access to the screws for the mid-rail, then unscrew the boards, move the mid-rail, and then secure the boards. Luckily the bottom rail stays where it is. Then I'll have to cut the posts and the remaining upper section down and remove it to its final height. Sounds easy enough. The only thing is there's no oak tree and Spanish moss to protect me from the sun and heat.

     Luckily I had enough sense to plan out what I needed for the outdoor shower and I have what I need. Today I might head up there and lay that out a little better then I did the other day. A few posts, 4x4 pressure treated base and floor, and these sections should give the space and privacy one'll need to wash down after work or fun. 

     Just as I was done cleaning up the scraps and tools it started to thunder in the distance, and the clouds went dark. Then it started to rain, and then Mother Nature poured buckets of water down from up above. It didn't rain, it monsooned. 

     You don't a place until you spend time there at different times of the day and during weather events. This was my first good downpour. Looking above you can see there's some drainage and landscaping that needs to be done. Unlike New Jersey, where when it pours and stays around for hours or days, down here it pours and then it's quickly gone. In a matter of an hour it's blue skies and everything dries up shortly thereafter. 

     Whoever built this joint just ran the metal roof without any gutter system. When it rains all that water just ours off and pools where it wants to. The same can be said for the pitch on the road, with the low spot being right at the apron or driveway into the barn.

     There's no curbing or drains leading into a sewer system so it just sits until it quickly recedes. I'm glad I was there to get some pictures which I'll be able to send to the Town or State in order to get some help with it. I'll need to come up with a master plan so I'm not doing piecemeal work which will have to ripped out at a later time. 

     I'm contemplating jumping to another project, which what I always do, and replacing the two sections above with Hardie board and batten siding. It'll dress the place up and be a nice view for my neighbor when she's sitting on her porch or when she leaves for work. I have the materials already, thanks to the dumpster diving I did in Florida, so it's just work and time. I have to look into if you trim ir first and then put the siding on, or vice versa. 

Theresa said she's coming up to help today. Now I just have to figure out what we can get done in the two hours that she'll last up there. And in other news the North East is on target to get hit with some nasty weather this week. With the full moon hitting on Saturday and a Nor' Easter New Jersey hasn't seen this since Sandy in 2012.

     I know it's early, and there's different weather models, but somebody, somewhere, is going to get something, someday. It'll happen when and where the low pressure and high pressure systems meet. If it's not the rain it'll be the flooding and big waves that will pound the shore. I have a feeling this is going to be a doozy.

Frank Pallone Jr. and his beach nourishment cronies must be licking their lips. 

09.21.26 Alright, I'm about done with this...

     Back at it yesterday. First kudos to myself was not dismantling the sections before I was ready to install. Like I said, they were screwed together during the original construction, an once you unscrew them they tend to want to twist up. Well overnight it rained about 19 inches in Ridgeland, okay, about 2 inches in an hour, and when I got there in the morning the humidity was about 150%.

     The street, and apron, around The Fly Barn is obviously the low spot on the corner. You can see by the collection of dirt and leaves that when it pours the water sits and then quickly drains, thanks to the soil being most sand. It's unsightly for sure.

     I have spoken with the Town who advised me that the road is a State road and they are responsible for its maintenance. I don't know what they can do about it but some type of culvert or drain needs to be installed. This was once a sleeper kind of run down neighborhood but that has changed. Lucky for me, my neighbor works for the Town's Public Works Department so she's in the know. We spoke about it yesterday and at some point I'll make some inquiries and calls. 

     Today's session, more like a hard labor camp, was to install the posts and finish putting up the boards. In one section I forgot to screw in the bottoms and I paid for it as the boards twisted up, so they had to be removed and trimmed. They swell with the water and humidity, and shrink in the sun and heat. 

     On Friday I had phoned a friend, my Dad, for some help with the layout. I don't have a transit, and there's different elevations, so I needed him to guide me on how to do it with a six foot level and some string. We didn't connect so I did my best, but, as left meets right, I'm fearful it might be off a bit. 

     There's level, and square, and then there's "level with the world", meaning that although it might be off, and it is, is kinda looks like it should. I had to work off of both existing sides and have the "new" fence meet up in the middle, where the dreaded gate sits. 

     No matter how hard I wracked my brain with the level, string, and tape measurements I couldn't get it right. And 1/2 inch off here, a little out of true there, and frustration building with on how to correct it, I just cut it all down. 

     So with the strings down and levels away I just went with eyeing it up. It is what it is, and it will be fine. My goal was to do the work during the weekend so I wouldn't have a constant set of eyes watching and every move being reported back to the offices at Town Hall. The last thing I need is an inspector dropping by.

     When they roll into work this morning they'll see there's no more fence where it was and now sits where it should have been. The bear of the project will be that 10 foot gate section which I'll tackle tomorrow with Theresa. Today I'll install the double post which will hold the non-swinging end of the gate. This I have to get correct, the elevation differences I'll have to work around. 

     I bought Luke with me thinking it would be fun for him. He'd be able to roam around without being on a leash like he has to be in Sun City. Basically it was hot, and he sought refuge by sitting under the skiff, which is under the barn, with the floor made of cool concrete. I basically think he's an air-conditioning kind of dog, with the bi-day long walks. 

     And just like that the NFL season has begun. I'm not a big one-team fan but do enjoy a good game. I would say, partly because of my Father, that I was a Giant fan. Then that kind of morphed into following the Eagles when we moved down to Titusville, and now, down here, it's the Atlanta Falcons or Carolina Panthers. 

     So I listened to that game on Sirius yesterday and will probably hit a local hang tonight to watch the Monday Night Football game between the Giants and the Los Angelos Rams. I refuse to get caught up in all the streaming channels, and am not paying $90 a month for You Tube TV, so if I can listen to it on Sirius, or watch it for free at a bar, I'm in. Our Roku plays NFL games, but repeats only. 

     After about 6 hours I was done, and so was Luke. I readied things for today and dropped him off at home. There was about two hours left on a weak incoming tide so I went and took a long walk and a look. I was looking for heads, or tails, or anything, but I didn't. There was a lot of clatter from the fiddlers, and a head from a turtle that I thought was a tail, but nothing else. 

     And on my way home from a long and sweaty trudging through the marsh I looked over and saw that my baby was back from the truck hospital. She was sitting in the used car lot. I've been creeping on her waiting for the call from the owner to take a look at my Suburban to see if a trade is possible. 

     I was told by the salesman that they were going to put in a new tranny, one that would come with a warranty, so we'll see about that. They probably threw in a refurbished transmission with such and such miles. One thing is for sure it's super clean, although the inside now needs a day at the spa, which is basically the covered area just above the hood. My hopes are high to get this done, but, time will tell. 

     And the new diet and working in the 1,000 degree heat and humidity? Well, going pretty good. I'm three pounds away from slide in under 200 which was my first goal in my new healthy life. 

     I probably have to give a little credit to Luke who now has us trained as to what a dog walk really means. I swear he holds his stuff until he's ready to be done, which seems like a mile after we started. There's no just opening the door and letting him out to roam down here, so the steps help as well. 

     We're ten days away from heading back to New Jersey for a month. There's a lot to do before then. Then it'll be a long stretch down here in the Lowcountry before heading back up there in late April or May, to open up Cape May, and hit the Delaware River. At least there I know how to find fish. 

09.20.26 We're gettin' there...

     I think it would have been easier building the fence from scratch. But it is what it is. Working alone makes everything 10x harder. To avoid the boards twisting up I removed the fence in sections until I am ready to remove and then screw them into their final location.

     I took the ride to Beaufort in the morning to hit Lowe's as the closest Home Depot is on the way into Hilton Head which would have had me backtracking to get to The Fly Barn. Of course I forgot a nozzle for the hose and found that there is a lumberyard and hardware store about a mile from me in Ridgeland. So off I went. 

     I stood in the outdoors section of the store staring at the nozzles they had available. I eliminated those plastic ones because I play rough and one drop and it would be toast. I was drawn to the firefighter's nozzle type, I guess because I was a firemen, and it was better constructed. When I checked out the people and the desk and I shared how expensive everything has become. From housing, to food, to fuel, and to nozzles. Those cheap nozzles, ran somewhere around nine dollars. The one above, with the taxes, $27. Twenty-seven dollars for an outdoor nozzle for a hose? 

     We're starting to realize that while it is cheaper down here in the Lowcountry, it's not like free cheap. Expenses are expenses. HOA, utilities, and the taxes. I tell people that our taxes went from $18,000 to $1,800, give or a take, so that is a savings for sure. But there's other taxes, like each year you pay a tax, or a millage rate, on each car you own. It's basically the county tax rate x the vehicles assessed value. Some states have it, New Jersey did not. In New Jersey there's a 6% sales tax on just about everything, here, in Jasper County the sales tax is 9%. Other counties across the state are 6%. Hilton Head is 6% surprisingly. So I contemplated the idea of finding a yard sale to find a nozzle but in the end I just swiped my card, and headed back to work.

     After moving the sections it was time to tackle the 10 foot gate section. Not only is it long but it's heavy as well. By the time that I got to it I was under the cover of the big oak tree with the Spanish moss that hangs from it. If I got trapped under it at least I wouldn't burn to death waiting for someone to come and rescue me. 

     What you don't see above is me underneath it trying to lower it to the ground. It was all good until I had most of the weight on my shoulder and skull and luckily was able to transfer it to my arms before lowering it to the ground. Since I was dropping the height of the fence to four feet I sawzalled the eight foot posts so I could reuse them. What I spent on the nozzle I saved on the lumber. 

     This could have been a fun, and quicker, project if I had my son, brother, or Dad around to help. That's one thing I don't have down here, family, or friends. By the time I meet new ones this project will be done, so hopefully they'll help on the next one. 

     Believe it or not this property has a lot of eyes on it and gathers a lot of attention. With Town Hall just down the street there is constant traffic of Ridgeland town employees passing back and forth. When I went in to the Water Department to get service going the lady referred to The Fly Barn as "The Fence". Working on the weekend eliminated those eyes and any attention to what I was doing, both correctly and incorrectly. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. 

     Today will be day three. If you see I have on the same clothes for each day as those are the "uniform" that I throw on when I get up there. I shower off, with my new nozzle, and change my clothes before heading back to the Sun City bubble. They don't need to see that get up, especially with the back shoes and socks. I'd love to wear white socks, but they would get destroyed with the dirt and sweat. Like underwear, I'm safer with the dark colors. 

     On this early morning I checked some emails and read one from the SC Board of Nursing. My application is under review and I was able to make an appointment for the finger printing and background check. While on the web I did some job searches and my ticket to earning down here 

surely sits with my nursing licenses, over fly fishing and guiding, which one day I hope will happen. My question is do I want to return to teaching or getting a job seeing patients and prescribing and documenting and....? Time will tell, but I'm blessed to have that earn anywhere-you-land card with a nursing license. 

Maybe if I pull in enough income I can start paying people to do these projects, or at least hire a helper for the day. Today Luke will be in tow, and he's not much of a help. 

09.19.26 "Sure, Ridgeland, I'll just move the fence.."

     Easy words to say, not an easy task to do, especially alone. Thank God the humidity has slowed dissipated this past week and I only had to deal with straight up heat, at 93 degrees during the hottest part of the day. 

     Basically what I'm doing is just moving the fence back over onto my property line and cutting it down so the blind corner that was created doesn't exist anymore. I have some of the tools that I 

need for not all of them. The biggest thing I miss is my transit. It's very hard to find level across a yard with some yard and a 6-foot level. Adding to the challenge is cutting down the fence from 6 foot to four. You just can't do that in a yard that has different elevations. 

     The fence, and there's a lot of it, is well constructed. It was built in October 2025 for $11,900. The same contractor wanted $1,200 to move it, like I'm doing. I learned a few things on day 1. Lowcountry soil is mainly a grayish-sand, kind of like I saw in Millstone, Central Jersey. That was a relief and the $20

That was a relief and the $20 Facebook Marketplace post hole digger worked just fine. But the big lesson learned was that you can't just deconstruct a section and stack it for when you are ready to reinstall. Almost before my eyes the boards I unscrewed and took dawn would warp right in front of my eyes. So after I learned that, I had to have my posts done, rails in place, and then unscrew a board and run it over before it realized it was free. 

     Above is the bear of the project. A 10 foot long six foot high homemade gate that has to be moved. It's going to be a challenge not only laying it out correctly but moving it into position. And this too has to be shaved down to a four foot height. 

     And I think I've found the location for the outdoor shower. It'll be a small stall and I can use the wood I have to construct it. It'll be meant for one person so size isn't and issue. I'll get to that after the fence is done. 

     I saw something comical on Facebook. It basically pokes fun at the insect handoff that it's occurring down in the Lowcountry now. It went from mosquito to love bug season. 

     When you drive through the love bugs it's like driving on Route 17 through Roscoe when there's hatch. I'm told they are attracted to white vehicles and the sperm or whatever love juices they excrete cause permanent damage to a cars finish. So that's another reason to get rid of the Suburban. 

     I told Theresa I was going to get up and out of here by 5 am today. It's now 8 o'clock and I'm sitting here dreading the day. I have to go one way to Home Depot and then the other to Ridgeland. I need some lumber and some concrete, and that's why I need a pickup. That old Silverado I had was perfect for what I need down here. 

     I paid $2,800 for that one and it served me well. One thing is for sure trucks down here are a small fortune, even beaters with 250,000 miles on them. I guess it's because they're southern trucks, which means no salt and no rust for the most part. 

Hopefully back to fishing this week after the fence is done.