04.14.26 RIP Eric Olesen....

     I met Eric when I was a member of the Asbury Park Fishing Club. He was a regular on the beach and could always be found when the big fish were around. I learned yesterday of his passing following a pacemaker swap at Deborah Heart Center. He was just 38 years young. RIP Eric, big fish and tight lines.

     I joined the graveyard shift crew for some near low tide fishing early yesterday morning. I'm glad I went, even though I didn't get a tug. I know it's coming, and so are they, although I might miss out on those big early pre-spawn fish that come up first. They generally aren't in fly rod distance although I have caught them before. The river is low, and we continue to be in near drought-like conditions. 

     The rivers at 10,600 cfs and at 56 degrees. The temps fine but the flows are not. They will not make for a good spawn. If conditions aren't near perfect those eggs will get released or reabsorbed with no hope for a good YOU numbers next survey. What we need is rain, and a lot of it, just not 100 inches over 6 hours. 

     To possibly increase my chances at night I brought along my little bottle of Anise. In the end the only thing it did was stick up my hands and jacket. It didn't help with fishing. And then it was back to the grind before a few days at the hospital. The dumpster is getting picked up this week so the first one came, was filled, and went. I'm hoping the next one we need is a tad smaller. 

     I'm glad I'll have the next two days away from the house as I getting burned out. Things are looking good and I still want to male that May 22nd listing deadline that I made. We're ready to go....

04.12.26 I can't wait for this to be over...

          From a Google Ai search, "Lead paint is a toxic, hazardous material used in homes before its 1978 ban, creating significant risks of nervous system damage, learning disabilities, and developmental delays. It becomes dangerous when deteriorating, peeling, or producing dust through friction. Lead-based paint is still found under newer layers, in most pre-1978 homes".

     So far I've lost count of how many small bins of heavy paint I've burned off and deposited into the dumpster. The original paint job on this house dates back to when it was built in 1923. Over the next century there have been countless layers of paint added. I can't believe no one thought to many get down to the original wood and detail before just adding another coat. Did it really look when you turned around and saw the above? Did someone actually charge for that?

     I'm into the front entrance for over 40 hours on the heat gun, chisels, sparkle knives, and picks. Luckily I think I can wrap this up today before moving onto the next to-do list the realtors gave us. But begrudgingly, that will involve more heat gun play in another part of the house. We got the report as far as the market price they want to set the house out and it was about where we thought it would be. The only thing we can do is continue the push and hope that somewhere out there a buyer is dying to get into this house. 

Circa 2021

     In the end was doing this really needed and worth it? Could my time have been spent better? Well, this work that I'm doing is my gift to the house, and to the future owners. I feel that I owe it to both of them. While we lived here with it, and really never noticed it, both deserve better as the home enters another chapter, and the fourth owners. I would have loved to have seen this place as the craftsman back in the 1920's finished up before the owners, and their staff, moved in. She really is a fine estate. 

     

04.11.26 Finally got a bite...

     With my brain swollen from hours of burning lead paint off the front entrance I decided to take a pause and give it a shot, not once but twice. Two-a-days are a usual thing for me when I have the time but as you know my time has been overtaken by decluttering, filling the dumpster, and getting the house ready. 

     So I hit the river at high and just about low tide. I've been throwing whatever flies I could find without digging through the storage bins bins looking for my class A offerings. On top is a herring type flies, this one with Ru Harvey tabs, minus the eyes. After not getting a tap I went smaller with a fly Abe Pieciak gave me when I was up in the Vineyard. I've been watching the cormorants fishing in the river and coming up with small fishes in their mouths. For me, they may be the smaller alewives rather than the blueback herring, so it was a good choice. 

 

     I finally had a tap which was most likely a smallmouth bass that took a swipe. I usually start off the season with a non-bass catch which is either a walleye or red-eyed bass. In the end it was good to get out with some sun around, but the water is near gin clear, and the SW wind was steady. We've had the first push of fish come and go so we'll see how the rest of April goes. The New Moon is a well away and surely the herring will be pushing up on the moon and tides. 

     Today will be get the boat ready day, but not for use. It's going up for sale and I have a friend com ing over who might be interested in adding this smaller skiff to his river arsenal. Delaware Joe is coming over to help me get her ready. I hate to see her go but one, I'm not a boat guy. and two, it won't serve me well down in the Lowcountry. 

04.10.26 I'm not trying to be a jerk, but......

     Hey, it's fishing. It's supposed to be fun. And it is. But let's just say I've seen and heard enough already. Easy to sit behind a keyboard and poke fun at those out there getting it done. But, c'mon guys, are you really accomplishing anything when fishing for pre-spawn striped bass? And that goes for spin, fly, troll, plug, jig, and shad anglers. Basically it's find the fish, and you'll catch fish. And that's even easier said for the boat guys. 

     If you're in the know then you know. Just take a minute and watch the early birds trying to get a worm as they leave Atlantic Highlands Municipal Marina. The boats pull out and they either head west or east, then south, then west. It's no secret, although people are trying to keep it one. Yes, the Raritan River is big, small compared to the Chesepeake, but if you are in a kayak it's big, a 28-foot center console not so much.

     Basically, at this time of the spring, all of those pre-spawn bass who are ready to go, like spawn, or are thinking of getting ready to go, will stage and chew, in the bays and rivers around northern Monmouth County, Middlesex County, and Staten Island County. I won't give up spots, but you know them, the Raritan River, the Arthur Kill, and the Navesink and Shrewsbury Rivers. 

     Captains do their best trying to keep the bite quiet, but it's already blown up. My guess is the above picture could have been seen taken as you drove over the Highlands Bridge. The boats have been stacked up there, as well as around Perth Amboy, every day for the last two weeks, outside of any weather days. And the banks have been lined with guys, day and night, if they can squeeze in their car to the limited parking areas of the funnel-type spots. 

     These fish, are entering and are stuck in the funnel, that will have them enter into the Raritan Bay system and exit into the Hudson River. While the Chesapeake Bay has many tributaries where bass spawn, these fish are heading to Albany. Some say they spawn in the back of the Navesink, Raritan, and Hackensack Rivers, but I am not a believer. So when there's images and videos of catches with terms like "epic" and "madness" it makes me cringe. You came out of the marina, found the flotilla, used your electronics to mark tons of fish, and dropped bats down to them. I know I sound jaded, or jealous, but c'mon guys. 

     Other guys post and just don't care what's in the background. This guy's a happy NY Giants fan and a striped bass fishermen proudly holding his catch. That spot has always produced and believe it or not, before they replaced that bridge, guys used to fish off the hold one and hoist up 30 and 40 pound bass. Fishing from the bridges in New Jersey used to be a thing, but the law has that locked down, plus the new bridge is way too high. 

    Fishing for pre-spawn striped bass in the spring is fun, no doubt. There's a lot of fish around, depending where you are, and they are eager to eat before their hundred mile long journey north. But sitting anchored or spot locked up over a ton of fish on an ingoing and outgoing tide and landing "triples" is not much of an accomplishment, to me, but that's where I have to admit that's a jerky statement. Fishing is fun, and these anglers out there having fun. 

     If you go, pinch the barbs, get rid of the tailing trebles, and hold them correctly, so they can have enough life in them to make it to the den of iniquity in the north Hudson. 

04.08.26 Feels like winter's back....

 

     Woke up to 30 degree air temps with a NE wind to 15. Not what I hoped for but I went anyway. Wind didn't help with the casts nor did the iced up guides. I at least got to to see a nice fish that Leif got in Monmouth County. Seems like the fish have moved into their usual springtime spots and the crowds have as well. To say there's no more secret spots may be an understatement. 

04.07.26 Finally....

 

     Since everyone and their Mother's are catching fish starting last week I made it a point to find my stuff and give it a go. Nice day, little brisk coming out of the NW, dropping tide. I couldn't find my wadding staff so I just played it safe. 

    As far as flies I had to go into the bowels of my B-team collection. The are the ones that aren't tied on AHREX hooks, have lots of fake (hair extensions) hair, and are just off a bit. But they will do for this spring because it is what it is. I've packed away all my tying stuff and I just need to keep moving forward.

     I didn't get a tap but things are looking good in the next week or so. The cormorants have set up shop and their arrival means they've arrived. No, the herring aren't here, but the shad are. But you won't find the sleek black birds swallowing down big roe or buck shad. Maybe there's some white perch or smaller gizzard shad they're after. I'd say spring has finally arrived.

04.05.26 Skinny box delivery from Orvis....

 

     I was perched up on the ladder with heat gun in hand when I heard Luke in attack mode. When I turned around I saw the FedEx man waving a long skinny box trying to fend my protector off. Luke is more bark than bite but he has been known to snip at peoples calf when they turn away. In the end I was relieved there was no attack and that my favorite fly rod had made its way back from Manchester, Vermont.

     It was over 10 years ago when I purchased this Helios 9ft 11 wt four piece rod. It's a great rod for the boat, or fishing in big current, or when the wind is kicked up and I'm throwing heavier sinking lines. Of course it's been beat to hell, like my other stuff. I thought about retiring it to the dumpster, just laying it to rest, and buying a new Orvis Helios D to replace it. Over the years Leif has fixed the tip section several times and it was more of a 8'6" than a 9 footer.

     So a month or so ago I took advantage of Orvis rod repair program. For $60 I sent it back not knowing if they would even fix the broken tip section since I had already done several home repairs and wondered if any "warranty" would be null and void. When you fill out the form online they ask if the rod "has sentimental value" and I checked that it did. In my mind I wouldn't have wanted to replace a rod I have caught so many fish on, good ones too, and missed the opportunity to bring it to the Lowcountry for a shot at some bull reds. 

     If you remember the old days when you send a rod in, sometimes, if you're lucky, you would open the box and the rod tube and find a new glistening rod inside. They just replaced it rather than going through the work of the repair. When I untied the rod sock I saw the battle-worn cork grip first so I new my lovely was still intact, albeit with a new tip section. I was happy to have her back and look forward to at least a few outings on the Delaware before we split. 

     Things in terms of the spring and striped bass have broke open after the full moon earlier this week. From the Hackensack to the New York and Raritan Bays, the Shrewsbury and Navesink Rivers, to some action on the beaches, and in the Lower Delaware River, the fish just popped like that. Luckily, while I spent every waking moment either loading a dumpster or with heat gun in hand, the striped bass haven't made their way up my parts in the mid-330 mile long river. I would guess that at some point during this week I will find my gear and give it a go, my internal fly fishing urge has started to rumble.

     At work we've finished up our Emergency Room rotation at Capital Health's Regional Medical Center. The students did great, one so impressive that he got eaten up my the staff and will most likely have a spot held for him after he sits for the boards. But my hat has to get tipped to and much thanks to the nursing staff that welcomed the kids and did everything to give them opportunities to learn and hone their skills. So while the seniors have ended their clinical rotations I'll be back upstairs on the med/surg floor with the freshman before starting the mental health course in mid-May. I'll be doing the lecture, labs, and clinical rotation with the class, which will include time at TPH, or the Trenton Psychiatric Hospital, on their long-term inpatient unit. 

     And today is Easter Sunday. It's a day when Catholic's celebrate Jesus rising from the dead after three days spent in th tomb following his crucifixion on Good Friday. I may not be the best rule abiding Catholic out there but I am believer, and have faith, it's the only thing, for me, that is a constant in this world that we have bastardized and changed for the worse. In a world of AI and questioning and challenging everything like the entire Bible and Jesus stuff, for me, existing without faith would lead me misdirected an guided. And that, I would say, for anyone who believes in any religion, spirit, higher power, or force. 

     Easter Sunday's used to be one of the best days when the kids were young. You'd wake them up and have them follow those powdered made footprints around to find candy and gifts inside or outside the house. There were Easter egg hunts and brunches and family dinners. And of course you would have to drag them to church. As they got older and left the nest we pretty much have a 0'fer when it comes to the kids and their own religion beliefs and participation, but that's on them and how they choose to live their lives as adults. I think it's normal, they are forced into it as kids, drift away in young adulthood, and then get drawn back when they have their own families and kids. But in the end Easters are different as you get older. 

     We'll be heading out to my sister's house for a family get together with good food and mimosa's. It'll be our first visit to her new house after she sold and bought within a month. That's just hot the Monmouth County real estate market is these days. Hopefully some of that action will be alive and well out here in Mercer County. 

04.02.26 Staying focused but the pace has slowed...

     I might as well talk fishing since it's been a bit. If I had to put my hands on my gear right now it would be impossible. I saw the above picture on some Facebook page showing the catch a father and son made in one of the backwater lagoons in Palmetto Dunes in Hilton Head. I've driven through there and even walked some of the property but it's mostly a live and or stay there and fish kind of place. You basically need a pass to get through the gate, like most plantations or resorts on the island. Funny thing is my sister and her crew are down there now. I hope they got to wet a line.

     I haven't been on the river watch which is weird as by now I've usually had at least forty hours in and a fish or two to hand. A quick look at the USGS graphs show me things are looking real good.

     While the flows may be off from the norm, and we're probably still way to dry after the winter we had, the temps are looking real good, maybe too good. The river is running at 15,700 cfs and the water temps are near 55. While the shad fishing has broken open to me it's still too skinny and too warm for the first week of April. If water temps are a trigger for spawning then things may be early, or are already underway. My buddy took the ride to one of the Chesapeake tributaries last weekend and had luck on the fly rod at night. He found tons of herring and bass on them, and most were already spawned out. I should take some time and gather my stuff as I feel internally I'm missing out on something in my normal spring rituals. 

     One thing about having a dumpster is it's just go time. The more and harder you work the more you get done. Period. But that bull-in-a-China-closet-approch doesn't work for all home selling preparation operations. During my house survey I realized I looked over, for eight years, some things that need attention, especially if someone is going to plop down some serious money for the house. 

     The entrance to our home is pretty stunning. In an effort to pretty things up I thought about painting it over. The problem is a close inspection shows all of the dentil work has lost its detail after about 100 years of paining and subsequent weather. You just can't paint over it. And that's where speed and work comes to a quick halt. You can't rush a heat gun and picking through lead paint. And so it begins. 

    Next week we'll host the realtor team that will handle the sale and hopefully they will give some guidance on what to do or not before the house goes to market. What a seller thinks is important might not be to the buyer, so it can be time and effort wasted. To me, the entrance is the big first impression, and this one can be spectacular when it's all buttoned up. 

    What's also slowed the process is being down to one strong hand. This laceration wan't acquired from the work of filling the dumpster but from a much needed break during some day drinking when Theresa and I paused for a bite and a beer over at Al's Airport Inn. Said to say I had to direct the minor surgical procedure, and even redo two of them, as you need to grab some meet to approximate the edges of the wound. I didn't want to say anything, and be that APN guy, but I had to. I need this to be closed and stay closed, and clean.

     I was trying to cut a hole in a to-go container and a serrated knife and soft flesh met at the wrong time. I can't imagine the patient's faces when they get a load of my hands of horror as I approach them to start an IV or put in a foley catheter in the ED this Friday. I don't know how surgeons keep those surgeon hands impeccably clean and own a home where they do the yard work and tackle home improvement projects. Well, maybe they don't roll like me.

     We've set the to-market day as May 22nd and hopefully we'll meet that deadline. With springs arrival the landscape is coming in nice with everything coming in nice Ana green and the house shows best during May, before it gets unbearably hot inside during the summer. 

     I checked out the neighborhood yesterday on Zillow and saw that a few homes are coming close to market. There's one coming on with 3,900 square feet for $1,375,000 which is a nice number and will be interesting to see what kind of action it gets, and if it moves quickly. If it does I'll increase my lead paint poisoning exposure to try and get every dollar we can from the house. The bigger the get the better off we are starting anew in South Carolina. 

     What's funny is we just never know as we scan Zillow every night. Is our future home already on the market or is it to come? There's so many options, price, size, and location within Sun City that it's hard to zone in when we don't know when or how much scratch we'll be able to help in the search. We've capped out searches to a max of $450,000 but there's more in higher price ranges. The last thing we need is more space than we need.

     So while Theresa is looking at what kind of kitchens a listing may have I have my sights on more important, to me, spaces. One listing had the most glorious room that would serve me very, very well.

     It was a garage view that was an image towards the back of the gallery. It showed the garage and a secret little staircase located in the corner. The next picture showed a beautiful space which could become a fly tying room or a safe room where I could go and hide when we're just about to kill each other. 

       The 55 and over homes in our price range are basically 2 bedroom and 2 bath at around 1,300 square feet with no where to run and hide, or have a messy Man Cave space where I can feel at home. Part of me needs to have a space that isn't organized or sterile. One like this just might do. 

     So what does all of this personal stuff have to do with The Average Angler and fly fishing? Well this blog has documented the journey of a fly fishermen, like you. No doubt it's just a chapter in my life's book. And the next chapters will hopefully include fly fishing and guiding in and around Hilton Head and Beaufort, South Carolina, and not about burning lead paint, loading dumpsters, and getting stitches.

04.01.26 I hope this isn't an April Fool's joke...

      I check Zillow frequently for places to buy down in South Carolina and for listings in our neighborhood in Titusville, Every now and then I'll check our house. I don't know if it means anything, or if it's an April Fools joke, but the Zestimate as of this morning, has our house with a value of $1,004,420. To me that's crazy, but either way I'm glad to see this arrow of value moving up rather than down. 

     Like I had said after the estate sale, people who stopped by asked what we were listing it at and I put the question back to them. "I don't know, 2 million?". "1.7?". It's crazy to see how the value of real estate has increased over the years. 

     Luckily for us there isn't ANY thing on the market, like a similar big old home, in our surrounding area. Next Thursday a relator team is coming over for a meet and greet, a presentation, and to discuss their plan. No doubt they'll be targeting New York folks who are looking to come to the beautiful Garden State, and won't blink an eye at a one million dollar price tag and $18,500 a year in taxes. Hey, it's near Princeton, Lambertville, New Hope, and a short train ride to New York, and Philly. 

    I'm hoping for a bidding war. Actually I just want the house to go to the right people, who have the scratch to make it even better than we tried to do. She is a beauty. 

04.01.26 There's some things that just make you pause...

     There are things we've had to make the tough decisions about as we downsize and get ready for the sale and the move. The extra "stuff" is pretty easy to part with, but other things are definite saves and some just get a quick picture and then meet their doom in the dumpster. We've sent photos and texts to the kids asking, "Do you want this?", and most replies are a simple, "No". One thing that we've accumulated is every photo package we've ever purchased from Lifetouch or Jostens over the years. Imagine having folders with 8 x10's, 5x7's, too many wallet sized photos you could ever give away, and class or team pictures. That's for seven kids, for 8 years. Needless to say we whittled them down to just a single picture for each of them, for each year, and put them into a bin. 

     But then there are some items where I just have to sit and pause, and think of the story behind them. The other day I was out in the yard doing a hard edit and filling the dumpster. Then I came across the wood holder. There's not much to it and it's simply built. But I remember like it was yesterday. It's made from four pressured treated 4x4's and 2x4's and some galvanized bolts. I built in 1996 when we bought the house on Madison Avenue in Red Bank. I most likely purchased the materials from Home Depot in West Long Branch and surely paid less than the current price of $10.68 for a 4x4x8. 

     But like me, this log holder has been around. "Born" in Red Bank, it moved to Middletown, Ocean Township, did a stint in Roscoe, then back to Red Bank before its final rating place in Titusville. Most of the time it sat off behind a garage or along the side of a property. When just used for storage it held a few logs, most becoming the home to rodents under a frayed tarp. 

     This past fall we had a wood stove installed and she was dragged out from the back forty and brought out closer to the house. All winter she did her job, although a little wobbly. The rack was aways full and at times even over the top. She helped us stay warm this brutal winter, and may have even helped us save a few bucks in oil. But with spring arriving and my move to make the house present as pretty as possible my first move was to unbolt her and throw her in the dumpster. But she deserved better than that. 

     So I found a ratchet and tightened her joints up and displayed her proudly in the sun. I threw a few pieces of oak on her to look fresh and a little bit younger. Hopefully she will serve the new owners well as she did to me. We've had a relationship for thirty years. It's funny how things like this stir your mind, and your heart, as you downsize and move to live the last chapter of your life, pretty much naked, with just the clothes on your back and a few things stored in the bins. 

 

03.28.26 Released my first bass for 2026…

 

     It felt good to hold a big bass the other day and release it. While not the usual first of the year bass I e been used to over the last couple of years this one was rewarding. It’s a decades old mount of a large bass that I’ve held onto since 2013. I found it after setting up a table at the Allaire Flea Market.

     I bought it not knowing what I’d do with it and it never found a wall or place to display it. Over the years it bounced around and it lost an eye and the fins got split. I was thinking I’d bring it up to the Vineyard where my buddy Abe could do something artsy with it. But it was time to go, and on top of the pile in the dumpster it went.

     It went in along with some pictures I mounted to display at my booth at The Fly Fishing Show when I was guiding and trying drum up business. One of those images was of my largest Upper Delaware trout that I caught on a streamer on the West Branch in Deposit. It measured 24 inches and was a beautiful butter brown. 

     They said we could have the dumpster for up to three weeks but at this pace we should have it filled in about a week. I can only imagine the workers at the transfer station trying to piece together the story of the people who owned this shit as it’s dumped out on the floor. We pushing forward with a proposed date of listing it the third week of May, and we just might make it. 

03.26.26 What a beautiful sight...

     I don't know if you can get an early Christmas present for 2026 but if you need an idea here's one. A beautiful 30 yard dumpster delivered right to the front door. I think the overwhelming feeling of loading a dumpster is getting rid of all of the stuff that keeps you weighted down each day. It's kind of like wearing a weighted vest, or a straight jacket. 

     And the bigger the house, were around 4,300 square feet, plus the basement and the attic, which had become the staging area for broken stuff, projects in varying degree of ideas and completion, and items and memories that should have been stored more in my head then in hand. They say when you downsize if you need to store it you don't need it. 

     This past weekend we had a pop-up estate sale. We had good traffic, got rid of a ton of stuff, and put some money in the wallet which will pay for this dumpster, at $750 for up to four tons, and towards Cape May, which is due May 1st. The next big item to move is the jet boat after I spend some time cleaning her up for market. The timing is good as the river rats will soon be out chasing migratory fishes. 

     I think before the guy turned out of our driveway Theresa and I had the first stuff hitting the metal box. Before the dumpster arrived it has been weeks of getting the property cleaned up. Sticks, leaves, downed trees, and anything else the weather and wind had deposited around the yard. One thing I can't stand is when people use their "back forty" to just drag debris out to hoping it will decompose over time. Well that takes about 100 years. So all of that stuff

had to cut up, staged, and then loaded up before being taken to the local recycling center where it'll be turned into mulch, which we'll be getting in a few weeks. There's nothing like new black mulch to pretty up around the house. 

     Needless to say I've checked out of this house, and New Jersey living. It's been 58 years and I'm ready for a new change, and new adventure. I'm tired of the landscape that my eyes have seen for all of these years, especially the changing landscape. The same places, the same restaurants, people, stories, politics, and the taxes. No doubt when we head south all of those things will be there, but they will be new to our eyes. And then there's adventure of something new, which can bring a new change in perspective as we crest over 60 years old. There's still a lot of life to live, and the maintenance, both physically and emotionally, of this big old house and the grind will be something I'm looking forward to leaving behind. 

     During the sale someone asked, "Is the pick-up for sale?". 'My pick-up too?", yep. I'm not taking this war wagon down to a 55 and over place. I told the guy I still had some work to do with it before I'd let it go for $2,500. I've been snooping around for my next vehicle, either a GMC Yukon Denali or Chevy Tahoe, which will easily tow the Jones Brothers. My thought was to tow the boat down to North Carolina and come back and sell it but I don't think it would make the trip. But I'm thinking I'll hold off on purchasing a new truck around here as anything used has had seasons of brine on the roadways or slat from the ocean spray. 

     So in the meantime I'll keep loading, keep teaching at the hospital, waiting for the house to be emptied out before tackling the completion of the projects left unfinished. That will include painting the house and going back to the white and brick rather than the yellowish paint scheme I started last year. 

     It's just easier to cover it in white as there are so many miles-foot of wood that would have to be sanded and painted the light banana color. And there's still windows that need to be removed and sanded and painted in black. When I look at the picture above, with everything grown in and in bloom, I can dollar signs, and hopefully there's a lot of them. The big question for us is to do the sale ourselves, or list it with a realtor. Paying 6% of something, which could be $50,000 is hard to swallow. It would make sense if they could prove to us they could sell it for more then we can, justifying the big commission cut. 

     They said we could have the dumpster for 2-3 weeks. The way we are going it might be ready for a pick up by Monday. I'm doing the Facebook Marketplace thing, the Goodwill drop-offs, and asking a friend. But in the end a lot will spend their last days in this box before getting incinerated somewhere. I'm done with stuff forever but it will be hard passing up those Yard and Estate Sales we've grown to love over the years. Maybe down south I'll spend more time in the gym rather then searching through other people's stuff before it hit's their own rented dumpster.

03.24.26 Coming soon to a Facebook Marketplace near you...

     I'm selling my 1998 Lowe jet boat soon. I'll have the particulars with the listing. It has a Mercury 40 hp jet out the back. Perfect the river where rocks and skinny water.  Let me know. $4,000 if you want it. 732 261 7291

03.19.26 Gettin' it done, but what a PITA...

     If you haven't ventured into the world of selling things online, my advice, stay away. I say that because things are getting worse, like everything else in this world. Yes, people have been slaughtered during meetups since Craigslist first came around and the butchering continues from time to time with Facebook Marketplace. But that's not the reason I say stay away. Although, I have to say, the other day I had a sale that made me, the seller, uncomfortable. I sold a Pier 1 table and chair set. It used to be my fly tying desk. Too big and too heavy to move to South Carolina I figured I'll just get something new down there. And who knows if it would even fit. I've had this the late 1990's so for $75 I was fine with it.

     So a woman reaches out to me that she'd like to buy it and pick it up. Perfect. I listed it as "Pending" and waited for the pick up at the house. Now, picture this. Me. Old. Kinda overweight. Double chin. Unshaven. Just ugly. Working in the yard picking up sticks. Probably on day 3 unshowered with the same clothes on. Most likley with a pizza grease stain running down the center of my chest. And who shows up? Well, a young 20-something year old girl in tight yoga paints, who was a yoga instructor from Brooklyn, alone in her Honda Civic. 

     It was funny because she rolled out of the car like she had done this 1,000 times. No fear. Just picking up a table. I was uncomfortable from the jump and even had a hard time forming words. Adorable. Yes. Yoga paints. Check. But this is not a creeper thing. I have daughters that age. It's just, I don't know, after a  million episodes of kidnapping and murder and law and order shows it almost felt like it was a set up. 

     We started to figure out how to put down her seats and move stuff in her car and I'm telling her about my kids and my wife.....and then,"Hold on for a minute". And I went into the house and got Theresa. Phew..... I felt better the moment I introduced them to each other. But I just couldn't imagine a young woman driving into the country, rolling up into a long-drivewayed house, seeing the mess that I am, and being comfortable with even stopping. It was almost like you could stereotype a crime victim. When she pulled away I was relieved, and $75 richer, well not really, she Zelled Theresa the money, which, I'll never see. 

     I also sold the tractor that I bought from a guy in Amish country shortly after we bought this house in 2018. It's been a run with this one as I blew the motor and had to replace it and struggled every time I switched the attachments, and I could never get the 48" mower deck level. The guy who came, who rented a Home Depot trailer before he saw it, shouldn't have bought it. I told him, "This is not you man". 

     I sold the tractor and seven attachments. He must have asked 500 questions which I didn't know the answers to. "But how do you set up the hydraulics?" As he inquired about everything the price just kept dropping in my head and all I could see was all of this shit gone. When it came to the price, "How about $800?". SOLD. And we loaded it up.

     I try and tell buyers the truth, always, about things I'm selling. Even the Jeep that sold. I told the guy, "You don't want this". But no matter how I tried to explain to him what a harmonic balancer is and what it could mean, as far as repairs, he bought it. I took off $100 to show I cared and to help him with the tow or the repairs. That's on you bro.

     Then I had the snowblower. Probably had it for 20 years. It really helped out during this years snowmagedans. But towards the end it started to act wonky and wanted to cut off each time I engaged the blades. I put it up for $200 thinking a small engine guy or girl would grab it and do their thing. Nope. I get a retired printer from South Jersey who came with his adult-basement-living son in their Prius. WTF? I tried to talk him out of it. Nope. Okay. SOLD. Good luck.

     The last big item, before I go and list the jet boat, is my Lionel train collection. I put that up for $7,000 and just dropped it to $6,500. I had a dream, or a nightmare, the other night that they didn't sell and I packed them up and brought them south only to finally be able to enjoy them in my old age. The problem is the places we're looking at are 1,200 square feet with no basement and no attic. So, forget it. 

     But buyers can be brutal, or nuts, or both. Here's a reply I got to the train listing. It was out of the blue and just a thoughtful message from someone who probably wants to buy it but can't or won't. There's a couple of reasons why people don't buy, they don't have the cash, or their significant others won't let them. So here's the love I felt....

     WTF? Okay. Don't know where that came from. But then there's the people who I try and have patience with. This lady wants the sofa, she thinks. We've been back and forth 100 times...

     What do you do with that? In addition she asks if I'll deliver it. A sectional that measures 100 feet long by 50 feet wide with 50 cushions. I grabbed this when my parents downsized. It's been in our family for twenty years. The problem is if I put it in a dumpster and it rains not only will it take up too much room but it'll weigh 1,000 pounds if it gets wet. Somebody please come get this? Aren't there college kids who need this for their Animal House?

     And then there's people who are experts in things, while I am not. I've been holding on to Ryan's guitar since his death. I'll never play it and figured someone who's in the know will. It ones of those things, like kids things are tough to part with, but dead kids things are really hard. So it would have been easier to just list it and have some one come pick it up.....but. 

      So here comes Eric Clapton, a nice guy I might add, with 1,000 questions and picture requests. "What about the neck?". I didn't know if it was about the guitar or a line from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, "Save the neck for me Clark."....

     "Move the camera to the right and show the first 12 frets.". Frets? What's a fret?. I fret listing anything else on FBM. Anyway, needless to say, it's still sitting on the couch that the lady says she wants, desperately. And then there's always the dreaded.....

     If you list on Facebook Marketplace you'll get 1,000 of these with each listing, no matter if you write you won't respond to, "Is this still available?". Or you'll get just a lowball offer no matter what the item is listed for. Those are my favorite, because if and when you say "Yes", they never respond back. 

     The fly anglers are pretty easy to deal with. I listed the Fly Tester on one day and it was gone the next. In fact, it'll be picked up today. $75. Easy peasy. done deal. 

     So I warn you when and if you use FBM when you downsize or just purge all of the shit you have collected over your years on earth, and the stuff your kids and parents have left you, after they collected over their years on earth. Yes, there's deals to be had and there's people looking. And as far as pricing? Most people who list are just trying to get rid of stuff, while the buyers are either looking for something, are a dealer or flipper, or have a hoarding mental disorder. You'll know if you got good stuff because your Messenger will blow up as will the click count rises quickly. 

     After I listed my Pyrex collection it hit 2,500 clicks before the lady drove 3-1/2 hours from Maryland on a Friday night to make the 11 pm deal. That kind of traffic means you either got something real good or you priced it way too low. 

     So if you're about 60, or 70, or 80..it's time. What are you waiting for? All the shit your kids have left for you to deal with is ready to be Facebooked or dumpstered. I'm not even talking just about the old report cards and arts and crafts from when they were in kindergarten. Get rid of it all, or tell them to come and get it. At your age your basically just running a self-storage unit that is costing you a small fortune if you have a mortgage, or not. And the tools, and the wood, and the projects....you're too old these days. Those were the days but they are over. 

     One of my last sales was just that, another great loser idea of a project I had in my head. I picked this wood up about six years ago, for free, like Sanford & Son, from an estate sale. It was going to be the wood shed I needed to cover our firewood. Yeah, had that go? 

     I listed it for $20 bucks and threw in a set of saw horses I've had in my yard for the last 8 years. Within seconds I had hits and a few hours later a nice young guy came and picked it all up. I saw myself in him from way back when. A wife in the front seat, two kids in the back, and a small trailer used to pick up way too much "stuff". When I saw the smile on his face and he said, "This is like gold", I knew I was looking at someone who could be mental like me. But when he said, "I'll send you a picture after it's done", meaning a chicken coop, I knew it wasn't me, because the me would get this stuff and just leave it housing rodents and rotting away waiting for the day when I did something with it. And with me that day usually never comes.