A great week down in Hilton Head. Hot. Relaxing. Exciting. Confusing. Scary. Did you ever have a moment in your life where it seems you're at an intersection and you have to make a decision on which way to turn? And that turn could decide the rest of your life? Well this week could have been, for us, one of those times. Today, Sunday, we're back in New Jersey speechless, and left shaking our heads.
We really like South Carolina, a lot. Liked it last year and liked it this year. Savannah. Beaufort, Bluffton, Hilton Head. It's just different. Yes, it's a vacation. Yes, the grass is always greener. But we were left thinking to ourselves, at 56 and 58 years old, well I guess young, "What are we doing?".
We've been together now 10 years. Lived in Red Bank in what we thought was going to be our last home. Small. Simple. Affordable. Manageable. After Ryan took his life in that house a chance circumstance brought us to an open house in Titusville, and the rest is our history. She's a big old house
that we have a love-hate relationship with. Big house means big work, big maintenance, and big money. We have become slaves to the house. While it has given us the opportunity to experience more rural living it has also trapped us, and all of our stuff, within it's big four floors and walls. We can't blame the house for our behaviors which can border on a hoarding disorder and mental illness, one that I think most of us have. Nature, nurture, or a combination of both have us all holding onto, and adding to, a plethora of "stuff" that really no one wants, and doesn't have the value we think it does.
This morning we walked around, and around, and just shook our heads and questioned why. Why do we have this stuff? Why do we feel responsible to be the possessor of other peoples stuff and the memories they hold. I can only speak and own my own stuff. Things that don't fit, are broken, were from past lives, and are really just a weight that keeps me, and us, weighed down. And if we believe that the kids want it, well that's just comical.
And with all of that comes the calculation of money spent and money wasted. How much money does it take to continue this insanity and daily living. Yes, bill are bills no matter where you go, but how much of this life prevents us from living our best life? While bills like taxes, electric, heat, water, garbage, cable, phones and insurance would be anywhere why do we accept the ridiculous amounts to maintain daily living. For the kids to visit? For the holidays? For the grandkids? And don't get me started on my new pet peeve of food, and dining out, just a total waste.
We have dear neighbors who are in their late 70's and early 80's. Living in a big old, well very old, house. They have their kids stuff, their stuff, her parents stuff, and his parents stuff. The older you get the more you accumulate and it makes it harder to get rid of it to make another life move. And as far as health? Health only eventually gets bad, and then we all die. As Morgan Freeman said in the movie Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying". And the pets, well I'm not going to speak bad of cats and dogs, but they can be an anchor and get in the way of living, especially any kind of spontaneous outings, weekends, or vacations.
During the week I thought often of my parents. In their mid to late 70's. My Mom, how brave she was and is, to pick up from New Jersey and move to Florida, alone and not knowing a soul down there. She had to go through and purge 70 years of her life to start a new. Sold her house, downsized, and drove down to start a new chapter. My other parents have recently retired and are in the process of selling their dream house while they build a more functional and practical house which will let them live more. It's a huge, huge move that so many people can't or won't make. I really tip my hat to them.
I have watched on social media as classmates of mine, going back to grammar school, are retiring and relocating. We're just above 55 so we fit into that 55+ age restriction for planned communities. Most are heading south, even though heading south seems to be late these days. But I see them take the plunge and do the hard work it takes to break free from New Jersey and start a new beginning. The people I talked to have the same worries and concerns, moving away from home, missing the seasons, and of course the grandkids and kids. But let's be honest, kids have their own lives, which includes moving far from the nest. If you have kids in their twenties and thirties, how many times do you really see them each month? For some a lot, but for most it's special occasions, vacations and milestones.
So by chance I glanced over on Route 278 heading into Hilton Head and saw Latitude Margaritaville. When I think of the M-word I think of Jimmy Buffet. Nice, but not my guy nor scene. But one day we went back. We did did the tour. We spoke to people, a lot of people. We ate their eats and drank their drinks. It messed us up, like messed our brains up. Hilton Head is an 11 hour drive and a two and half hour
flight but it feels like a world away. No, we didn't didn't drink the juice, but boy what we tasted went down good. The models, well, what can you say, models always look great. They look like more of a vacation destination then a day in and day out home. But the people we talked to say that's the way their places look. They did the purge. It all went south, not south to Hilton Head, but sold, given away, or donated. Stuff weighs you down, and this place is far from that. Now some still have off-site storage units, but want to rid themselves of them ASAP.
Amenities. Just forget it. Pools, Clubhouses. Gyms. A bar and restaurant. Concerts. Activities. Clubs. We spoke with some people from New Jersey, some closing that day, who said they did it and never looked back. "Don't wait". Wow. Maybe some people can get up and go. You have to be in the right space, mentally, physically, and financially to do it, but for others it takes some time and planning.
So what could it mean? Well, we'd have to move there full time. The real estate taxes for full-time residents are 1% of the purchase price. HOA fees are $350 per month, which includes covering the siding and the roofs. A $500,000 home, with taxes and HOA's, would run you about $8,800. In New Jersey our taxes are $18,000. It would mean trading in striped bass for redfish. That would mean, if four years is our timeline, three more Delaware River spring runs and three more falls on the beach. We'd have to go down with nothing because nothing from up here would work down there. Work? Well those nursing licenses are good anywhere. Teaching? The University of South Carolina at Bluffton is less than five miles away and they have a nursing program. And Theresa has her reiki and reflexology and the area is chock full of tourists and retirees that love that stuff. And my Captain's license is good down there as well. I would hope to get my Jones Brother's refurbished and maybe even entertain guiding again if I call nursing quits.
To add to our insanity we stopped and opened up a bank account at the local bank. If felt good to do it. It was like we were taking a small step in the direction of doing what we need to do to make the
move. So now, if 48 months were the magic number, we have a lot to do. We have to purge. We have to get the house ready. That means that every single day I, well we, have to keep our eye on the prize and take steps to make that possibility a reality. A lot can happen in four years and that time goes by quickly. Covid was four years ago and here we are today. If you told me in 2020 that by 2024 I'd be living in South Carolina I would have laughed it off. My life has been a long, strange trip, so this wouldn't be a stretch if this were to become a reality for us.