It's all starting to make sense. Have I been duped? Have I fallen into the trap of what we are supposed to do as adults living in the United States? You have to go to college. You have to get married. You have to have children. You have to be a homeowner. You have to save for the future. And just to bring it back
to fishing for a minute because that's why people come here and stick around, I love to fly fish for striped bass. And since I started fly fishing in 1992 it has been the most consistent thing, person, and place in my life. I think we all need to have one "have to" in this life to keep us focused and grounded and safe, like a safe place you can go to survive all this life stuff that gets thrown in our way.
But the "have to's" are really pissing me off lately because I fell into the trap. Now, getting married and having kids has been great but the other stuff? Just why. I was reminded about that all again when I started to get moving yet again and try and either go through stuff to get rid of or at least evaluate the upcoming projects that need to get done to sell this house and jet south. But, of course, I couldn't go forward without going sideways for yet another day.
Since my first house in 1991 I have always done the yard work. Hundreds of thousands of hours and tons of money to do an okay job at making my house and property at the time look good. In that pic above from around 2005 Ryan and I had just taken down a tree and dug up the root ball. I still have that Stihl chainsaw, with the service tag still on it, with me today.
The miserable summer weather patterns we've been having have wrecked havoc on my coveted lawns. I work hard at them. It starts in the fall when I thatch and aerate them and put down a few hundred dollars of tall fescue seeds purchased from Tractor Supply. During the winter when and if we get some snow fall the snow blower comes out and throws snow along with the small stones from the driveway onto them so that's one of the first thing I tackle when the snow melts.
Then it's putting down fertilizer and preventer, Scott's of course, because that's what I've been trained to do, to make the lawn pop usually around the spring run of striped bass occurs. For a few months it looks great and it's actually fun making passes with my old 1984 Case tractor, although I can never figure out the correct zig-zag pattern like the landscapers do.
Then when fishing just about fizzles out the nuclear temperatures hit New Jersey. The grass goes into some kind of hibernation and the ground goes from some type of nice soil to a hard packed solid surface that just causes the rain to runoff run down the driveway into the street. And then the weeds arrive. Weeds love hard tightly packed soil and gaps in the driveway and patios. I've stayed away from the cancer causing Round-Up and went with a holistic potion of vinegar, salt, and some detergent to combat their growth. But really, it's like putting Bacitracin on your privates when you have a urinary tract infection. This "potion" just turns them brown and stuns them, so it's back to "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result".
Between the equator-like temperatures and the humidity everything grows but the grass. The weeds flourish as well as do the bushes and trees. If you don't stay on them you'll be reminded when a storm hits and the branches drop. If you don't prune or dead head things then you just have an overgrown jungle like a fortress around your house. And the mulch, WTF with mulch? How many bags and deliveries have I had over the years? Everyone loves mulch, at first, it's like putting on a new pair of sneakers, they're all pretty until you walk in the mud and get the discoloration around the bottoms. Mulch looks great as well, either fresh out of the bag or fresh from the dye machine they come out of. But by August they have lost their color and punch and just morph into the shreds of pallets, lumber, and timber they once were. Yes, you can till the mulch and wet it, and it'll look good for the barbecue you'll have if the weather holds out.
August brings lots of things to the yard besides the weeds and grass killing weather. Soon the murder hornet looking bees will arrive. I don't know what they are but they are huge, aren't shy, and live in the ground. If there's one of them then there's more not too far away. While I'm not an epi pen guy when I get stung I do have a moderate reaction and usually at least once a summer I "find" a wasps nest and get stung a few times, usually while mowing. But these things are a menace, well harmless I am told, but
I could do without them near the house. Later in the month the moles and voles will arrive and no matter what poison or traps I set they always seem to find another tunnel to avoid their death. At times I feel like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack trying to kill the groundhog.
I used to judge those guys, and girls alike, that pay for someone to do things like home maintenance, especially stuff around the yard. "He can't mow his own grass?". But now I wonder if those folks who keep landscapers in business weren't right all along. How much have I spent in money, and time, to keep my property looking managed. Buying mowers, now tractors, weed wackers, hedge trimmers, blowers, rakes, shovels, and every hand tool every invented? Then there's the gas cans and trips to the gas station. How many gallons of unleaded have been absorbed into my bloodstream over the years? Now I look
forward to an HOA fee that handles all of that. For $340 dollars a month all of that is taken care of and that covers the roof and the exterior walls. They'll also fetch the gator that's taken up residence in the manmade pond just beyond the screened in lanai. Sign me up, I'm ready.
Now it's not all that bad. Living in the "country" has it's good things as well. There's the deer that graze in the yards. And that's all good until they get a whiff of the impatients and other tasty greens. The only bad part is when they get mowed down on Route 29 and land or find a place in the yard to drop dead. That happens usually once a year. But then the turkey vultures set up residence and pick the carcass down to the bones. It must be horrific for the kids and the wealthy see an ass-eaten out deer on my property along the road with a flock of savages sitting nearby. The rabbits, they're cute, but they like flowers as well. The foxes are fun to watch, except when they're jetting across your yard with one of your chickens clenched down in its jaws.
Now the raccoons are different than the fox. They just like to eat the heads off your chickens. There's nothing like coming out early in the morning and finding your flock depleted down to a few lucky survivors. I always think of the terror they went through as I slept like a baby. And then there's the two gifts from Asia, Japanese stilt grass and those pretty Lantern Flies. Lantern Flies have destroyed tons
of trees out here in Mercer County especially yards that have "Tree of Heaven"'s in them. I have a bunch of Lantern Fly dead trees still standing up on the back 40 waiting to drop.
Now butterflies, they're just pretty. Last year I planted a Butterfly Bush and this summer a constant stream of butterflies have stropped for a snack. And while you're enjoying watching them you can
hear the buzz of the Mothra-like bees, the one I talked about above, vibrate in your brain. And then there's the field mice that leave their shit trails across the counters and on the sponges each morning. Bugs, yeah, country means bugs, especially in a 100 year old house that's more like a screened-in porch than a four walled fortress. We get incredible bug hatches, both inside and outside, starting in the spring and lasting till winter. Hey, who wouldn't think about giving this all up?
I guess what I'm in right now is a time thing. How much time, and money, does it cost to live the American Dream of home ownership. Yes, they say real estate is a good investment, and then there's the tax right-offs, ha, but is it all worth it? Imagine if you didn't have to do and spend just to have a place to lay your head, hit the shower, and eat. It's a little different when you are raising kids but now.....later!
So today I'll take another trip to the recycling center. Hopefully my left ventricle doesn't blow out as I unload the probably one ton plus of shit from round the yard. It'll be the third or fourth trip this year, and it's not even leaf season yet, I won't even start on that.
I heard a thing once about our lives being like a ruler. We all start at zero, but our last number differs. Just pick a number for funs sake. I'll pick 68. Forever that's the age I think I'm going to buy the farm, if I'm lucky. That'll give me 12 years. "68 is a baby", older folks say. Well babies die, we all do. The
question I now ask myself is, "How am I going to spend the last good years of my life?". Of course that's just my fatalistic prediction but I doubt I'll be like the older character of Norman McLean in the
classic movie, "A River Runs Through It". You know that character he's the last survivor in his family. That can't be a good ending to a good life. So I'll go to another movie as I wrap this "Where's he going" with this before I hit the dump. Actor Tim Robbins said it best in Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy
living or get busy dying". I think I'm ready to change things up a bit. Only a few more years of yard maintenance and moving stuff around before we live smart and enjoy the Golden Years, whatever that means these days.