It seems like every five years or so these days our country experiences some kind of upheaval. It’s either related to politics, race, sex, the environment, or immigration. If you allow yourself to become stuck in the quagmire of social media and or legitimate, or what they say fake news, you can become obsessed or possessed with it all if you allow it. And in these times most people, to me the smart ones, just keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves, or risk losing so-called friends and family members.
When I saw the above picture it made me think. It’s easy to say you don’t care about country or world events if it doesn’t directly affect you, and some may point out thats the easy way out of life, almost cowardly. But is it? My thinking is just because it’s out there happening or reported on the airwaves doesn’t mean someone has to have an opinion or take a side.
In life nothing is as important then something that is happening to us directly at the moment. Illness, injury, or death is a prime example. I remember the day I came out of St. James Church in Red Bank at the end of Ryan’s church service. It was a beautiful day and people were just milling about along Broad Street. I remember saying to myself, “God, the world doesn’t pause when I’m experiencing one of the worst times of my life”. Needless to say some of those people were thinking more of shopping or heading to Elsie’s for a sub as I stood there going through burying a child post suicide. How could I expect them to stop their day and put themselves in my shoes, head, or heart?
We all get thrown into the cauldron of life. If you’ve escaped it to now know that your time in the hot water is coming. Yes there’s stressors and life’s ups and downs but I’m taking about the big ones. I can tell you this, when it happens it’s your experience, your story, your time. It could be a news worthy event or just something that affects you and yours. And while you will get the love and support from a few, or many, basically you’ll have to suck it up and deal with it alone. And in a short while everyone else’s life will go on, while you are left with the broken pieces and maybe a broken life.
Thats not to say, like with the 24- hour news cycle we live with now, that you can’t have sympathy and empathy for others going through some big time shit right now, but you don’t have to own it, and move on it. And one of the biggest takeaways I see these days is the need to pick one side of every event, opinion, or comment someone else has or makes, especially if it doesn’t directly involve you or me. But for some empaths out there they can’t help themselves. Those people choose to put more energy into strangers than the ones closest to them, including family.
Looking at fish pictures while people are fighting behind you? Of course if I was there I would have my sleeves rolled up trying to maintain some kind of peace. But I can tell you I wouldn’t go looking for it either. I always liked the saying, “Stay in your lane”, although sometimes I just can’t resist, and that doesn’t usually go well nor do anything positive if I say or do something outside my lane.
So can one just live in their own world these days? I think we used to and depending on where and how you live you can, you just have to find that space and place. One of the problems I have these days is keeping up with the fast-paced world we live in. From trying to figure out how to pay with things from my phone, to technology and all things electronic, to rapid fire invasions of information from everything outside what I see before me, like from social media and the news, to now all things fake, like from ChatGPT or AI. One sure example is nursing, where feeding the computer has become more important then feeding your patient, or what I call computer focused care over patient focused care.
As we look, and are hopefully close to packing up in New Jersey and heading south, I question if I’m either truly running away or running to something. Of course the grass is always greener on the other side, but from many people we’ve talked to it is. While not perfect, it is a tad greener, and of course warmer.
I had to laugh when people we’ ve talked to down here in Bluffton, South Carolina, describe Sun City as, “The Bubble”. They call it that because everything they need in their life is just about within a golf carts drive. Golf, the gym, walking paths, pools, grocery stores, Walmart, and the sex toys, even lakes for fishing, and of course their friends are all inside that make believe cover that insulates the lucky residents from the outside world. They only leave to go to places not golf cart assessible or to the beach or a place to eat, or the big now, medical appointments.
Thats not to say The Bubble protects them from all things going on on the outside. Of course there’s social media and the news thats piped in to keep them connected and twisted up if they choose to engage. But there is something to be said for the insulation, and protection, that a gated 55 and over style of living offers people who buy inside. And we think we’re ready to buy in.
I’m ready to leave the reality, if you will, of the New Jersey living I’ve done for now 58 years. I’m sick of the traffic, specifically New Jersey traffic, the high cost of living and the taxes, the drama of changing towns, and the excess wastes of government spending. I really don’t know how middle class people can afford to retire in New Jersey. And I’m not talking about those whose benefit from old family money or inheritance.
So while I wonder what leaving The Bubble each morning to go and find my Jones Brothers to go fishing would look like we’re 100% all in. I’m ready for a change, and really ready for a change in fishing. I’m really a one trick pony striped bass fly fishermen, well two if you include my average trout fishing skills. With all the drama and changes with the striped bass I’m ready to find some new fish to bother, and the Lowcountry is calling. Now we have to make it happen.
The good thing is if I don’t leave The Bubble to go fishing I can take our golf cart over to the community center and belly up to the table with the 80 year olds and try my hand at ceramics or mongjong. I’m ready. I surrender.